Our Ethan Day

Brady on Ethan's bench.

It has taken me a couple of days to sit down and write.  It has been quite an emotional time this past week and has been a lot harder for me to get through than I thought it would be.

This past Tuesday, March 26, marked the death of our little boy two years ago.  I cannot believe it has been two years!  Time certainly has gone by fast.  However, it doesn't seem like that long ago that Ethan was here with us, yet we are starting to struggle to hold on to memories of him.  The memories are not as prominent as they used to be. They are there, but do fade a little.  I am glad I decided to blog and share so many because now I have record.  If I hadn't done that, I probably would've failed to record most.  Plus, Parker and Madilyn loved helping remember and record the memories.

I am not sure why this March 26 seemed harder than the last year.  I think I anticipated it would be easier, thus it was harder?  I am not sure.  But, I do know how grateful I am that so many thought of us while doing Errands for Ethan.  I love imagining how happy Ethan would be to see everyone doing kind things for those around them and brightening somebody's day.  As we read the stories of what others did this year, we would  cry almost every time.  It didn't matter how little or how big an 'errand' was, it was the joy felt.  One of the best I read was my friend's daughter exclaimed, "I feel joy in our car."  My friend went on to say how happy she was that her children were able to see how good service can feel.  I am indebted to those who helped come up with this idea to celebrate Ethan, and indebted to those who are helping carry it out.  It makes a hard day better.

I still hate the fact I live each day without my little guy.  But, as I pause with the "hate", I realize how many blessings I have in my life.  I am a lucky person.  I am very loved.

This picture tugged at the heartstrings this week.  It was a 'NEW' picture--we love those.  We couldn't hold back the tears.  This is the Ethan we remember.  Marcus doesn't like the way he looks, but I think he looks great!  Ethan LOVED his dad more than anybody.  He also LOVED the beach or any kind of swimming that could possible take place.  And, he was always this adorable....