I wake up some days and wish I didn't have to continue on this road of grief. I know it will get a little easier as time goes by, but even though I feel pretty good each day its hard thinking it just continues. I have to live without Ethan the rest of my life. Some days this feels short and others it just doesn't.
I had a vivid memory of his smile this morning. Not one I've seen in pictures, but his real smile. I miss it. I miss his craziness he brought to our home.
Because of these moments that happen out of the blue--the vivid memories--I am never quite sure when I'll feel sad. Today is a day my spirit feels sad. I am not crying, but I just feel a little lost.
I am sad for the moments I can't remember, and I am sad for moments we have to miss with Ethan right now. However, I am grateful for the memories that make me smile and the moments we did have with him!
Ethan's smile is one of the best smiles ever. What a great memory!
ReplyDeleteI, too, am grateful for the moments when I feel my loved ones on the other side of the veil, and know they are right there with me. I think of the words from a song, "if life were only moments, then you'd never know you had one." ("Into the Woods" on the brain)
I can relate to having a down day (as I'm sure the whole RS knows from my breakdown yesterday!) so I'm here for you if you want to talk. :)