My Goodbye time

Our trip to Ohio in 2009.  Ethan pictured with Madilyn and our cousin, Mason.

Last year on this WEDNESDAY, Wednesday, March 15, 2011 would be the last full day I spent with Ethan.  I really can't remember much of what we did this day. He was so excited to play Madden 10 with Drew that he counted the minutes down until that time.  I packed the kids (Madilyn and Ethan) up for the weekend.  (They were spending a couple of days with Creston and Cynthia and then a couple with Camie and Joel.  I was heading to New York the next morning really early and wouldn't be back until Sunday.) We spent some time cleaning, and other than that I just remember the afternoon time.  I think we made the video game time at 1:00.  Ethan went to Drew's. I remember Drew telling me that the first play of the game Ethan scored a touchdown. When Drew realized "how" they were playing, he didn't let up on Ethan the rest of the game.  Ethan had such a great time.  Drew even lent him the NBA video game for practice.  Ethan was a bit irritated I picked him up right on time and didn't let him stay longer.  However, Creston and Cynthia were in town and were picking the kids up at my house around 4:00, so we had to get moving.

I remember Ethan walking out to Cynthia's car, well, more like running to the car.  I don't remember if we did a hug at this time or not (I wish I could remember).  He was just so excited about going with Cynthia and Creston that he ran to the car and jumped in.  He loved seeing his cousin, Camden.  I do remember leaning in and talking to both my kids about behaving for Cynthia.  They were off. I would see them soon. 

Cynthia called a couple minutes later laughing about how the baby's name was going to be Sunshine Hawk.  Madilyn wanted Sunshine and Ethan wanted Hawk.  I responded that neither name would be used, it was just their wishful thinking.

I look back at this time and wonder why I don't feel bad about missing the last few full days on earth with Ethan.  I think because I know he had such a GOOD time!  He was with his favorite people.  Don't get me wrong, I WISH I would've been, but since I wasn't, I am satisfied knowing he was having fun. 

This post makes it seem like he was excited all the time.  He was. He was so happy to hang out with people.  If these "people" were others (rather than just his immediate family) it was that much more exciting for him.

I wish we could have the love and zest for life that he did.  I never realized that is what his energy was composed of.  I remember talking with my mother-in-law about how I had to "bridle his energy for good."  I did the best I could!

Ethan, we miss you.  I wish I could remember every little detail of your life.  I am grateful for the memories I have and will continue to write them down as long as I have them.  You are the best boy! (by the way, for those concerned, we tell all of our boys they're the best--because they are)