Makes me Smile

I have been thinking a lot lately about what to blog about.  Weird.  I never used to have to think about it.  I don't know why I don't feel I have anything to say?  I am starting to feel like nothing I say is pertinent to anybody else.  Then I think, was it pertinent before?  No.  I don't think so.  I have used this blog to get through my grief over the last couple of years and now I always want to write something in regards to that.  I wonder if it gets old?  Or if people will think I am just wallowing in grief?  I really just want a place to write down my thoughts where people maybe can understand a little of what I go through each day, still..almost two years later.  I am generally very happy and busy.  I love to stay busy. However, there are days that are still very rough.

I found myself just wishing the other day that Ethan would just run up to me and tackle-me-hug like he used to do.  I wish I could hear his little voice.  Despite his big personality, he always just had a little seven year old voice.  This year he would be turning 10.  I wonder what he would be doing?  My guesses...he would be playing football!  And soccer!  And complaining each day about practicing the piano, even though he loved playing Star Wars.  How I wish my kiddos had him around.  Brady would love him!  I was thinking how much Ethan loved playing with his little cousin, Camden.  How he loved to rough house and make Camden happy. I think he would be like that plus some with Brady.  It still hurts, but I can laugh and smile and be grateful for the time I had with Ethan much easier now than ever before.  I have been very blessed in that way.  I don't feel I can't move on.  I can.  But, I will keep sharing how I wish he were here because I don't think that will ever change.

Couple moments with my kids that made me laugh:

I walked into Parker's room the other day and he turned and said, "Hi, beautiful!"  Love that kid.  Taking notes from his dad.

I walked in and Madilyn was modeling in front of her mirror.  I always wonder if she'll do the girly things because most times she is just worried about what sport to play next.  Makes me smile when she does.

Brady now says all sorts of monhnfuihe;af;lkajfd'---trying to make syllables out of every sound.  I have really enjoyed "talking" with him lately.  He really is intent when he is doing it.