Happy New Year!

I cannot believe 2012 is ending.  I have a lot of thoughts.  Time is going so much faster as I am older.  Does it feel that way to others?  As we started 2012, I wasn't happy starting a new year without my whole family with me.  It was a sad time with a resolution to be happy.  Now, here we are, a year later, and life is happy.  You can find joy again in your life after losing a child.  It is a struggle and a daily effort, but it can happen.

I have loved this last year.  I have loved how loved I feel.  I have loved watching Brady bring loads of joy into a home where it has been much-needed.  I have loved watching Parker and Madilyn grow up.  I still have pain in my heart when I see them playing without Ethan just wishing he could be here with them.  However, these two have amazed and strengthened me throughout the year with their strong spirits.  They are how I get through the hard days.  I have loved going back to work ( and not full time).  I have loved the time I have spent home with my baby and making our home  a home.  I have loved letting myself love and trust more.  I am a different person than I used to be.  This has become very evident to me this year.

I also love the feeling of a new year-new beginnings-new goals-a fresh start.  Marcus and I had a three hour conversation on how to be better people.  What goals can we make to be better?  We want to make it a daily goal of improving each day.  We've had so many in our lives help us be better and carry us through hard times the last few years that we want to be those people now--the ones helping--not necessarily the ones being carried.

Have a Happy New Year!  We send our love :)