I take on many projects to feel more "accomplishment." I think my clean house shows how much "I've done" during the day. I also think if my kids are "well behaved" I must be a good mom. However, I know this is not necessarily reality.
I am sure my projects are just some of the ways I ignore my grief and/or a way to move on. I also think keeping my house clean helps me feel happy because I am not sitting in a mess. I also think helping my kids learn to be good people helps me feel good too. All of these things help me feel better about myself and seem to be some of the ways I "measure" myself lately. It seems to be selfish at times.
I try not to be too hard on myself, and my husband is awesome about not putting any pressure on me. He's happy if I just hug him after work--no need for a clean house or dinner on the table--that'll eventually happen--we won't starve. I just have to keep reminding myself that the following is my purpose and all the other "mountains" in my life really don't mean anything:
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| My family is my purpose and I'll do whatever I can to help them through this life. |
Kim, You are an inspiration. That sentence of your "purpose" is all that you need and all that truly matters in life. The other stuff is just that, stuff. No matter what, when you look back on your life and your kids look back on their childhood, they will be able to say "My mom was always there for me". That is how I try to get through my tough days. To be a mom is the best job ever and I know that you do your job with excellence. I am sending a hug your way. God Bless You!
ReplyDeleteThank you Heather! It is what truly matters. Some days its just hard to remember that that's enough :)
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