First Day of School

I hate the first day of school.  I used to love it. Now, its just an ugly reminder that I don't have my Ethan here.  The milestones are always hard.  I think I will continue to really dislike the first day of school.  That's too bad for someone who really used to enjoy it. I was in tears off and on all day yesterday...just anticipating.  I know the anticipation is harder than the day, so hopefully today will be better than yesterday.

Mr. MacLay, Ethan's 2nd grade teacher, is loved by many, but especially by our Ethan.  Mr. MacLay had even "made it into" our 2010 Christmas letter because he was spoken of so much.  He told Madilyn at the funeral he would make sure she would get Ethan's desk.  Sure enough, at Meet the Teacher last year, Mr. MacLay had labeled the bottom of Ethan's desk, moved it to Madilyn's classroom and left a note for her.  He wanted her to know how important it was to him that she get to have Ethan's desk!  We cried, of course.

Well, this year, our school was moved to a much larger campus encompassing 3 schools.  Mr. MacLay never ceases to amaze.  When we went to Meet the Teacher and he had made sure Madilyn ended up with Ethan's desk again.  I don't know how he kept track and made it all happen, but the desk was there.  She still gets to use it!  We cried again.  We just miss Ethan.  We wish he could be going to school too.  We wish there were three kids in the "First Day of School" picture.  (Well, three kids actually going to school).  Some days it just continues to suck.  These milestones make it harder, but always good to feel some pain.

Besides hating the reminder of not having Ethan, I am excited for my cute kiddos and their first day!!!